Helping Hands
by TechnicalTragedy
Summary: A Creatures fanfic. Oliver's family has dragged him off to Colorado, to try and have some fun before his little sister... goes. While there, he meets the Creatures, and everything comes crashing down around him. He has to face his worst fears, things he'd hoped to never again face. Rated M for strong language, yaoi, and mild sexual situatons.
1. Chapter 1

I never asked to come on this stupid vacation. In fact, I was thoroughly opposed to the idea of going to Colorado to visit some relatives whom I`d never met before.

But it turns out; it`s not so bad here.

Sure, it`s wintertime so it`s cold as fuck, but I made sure to bring shit-tons of warm clothes.

The drive was fucking _long. _It took around fifteen hours or so to drive from my home in Arkansas to Colorado, and another one or two to reach my relatives` house.

We`ve been here for about a week so far, and I think we`re planning on staying at least another week. I figured out very quickly that my relatives` house is fucking boring.

No video game consoles, shitty Wi-Fi, limited access on the TV. I don`t understand how they survive.

I just thank the Lord that I remembered to pack my laptop.

That`s what I`m on right now, just watching some YouTube videos, with several breaks for buffering because of this stupid fucking Wi-Fi connection.

Finally the Wi-Fi just cuts out, and my second cousin fifteen time removed or whoever the fuck she is apologizes, but says it`s going to be out for the rest of the day while they try to fix it.

I sigh. "Really? That sucks." I close my laptop and look around. "Can I borrow your car?"

She curls her lip at me. "Hell no. I have to get to work soon."

I sigh again, and pull myself out of bed. "Well, what the hell am I supposed to do all day?"

She shrugs. "I don`t care. Why don`t you go make snowmen with Angela and Marcus?" She suggests.

I shrugs back. "Maybe I will, Becky. Maybe I fucking will."

Becky glares at me. "Don`t use that terrible language around them, okay?"

I make a weird hand gesture. "Whatever."

"And don`t 'whatever' me, Oliver."

I look at her, and sigh yet again. "Yeah, okay, Becky. Just go to work or something."

Becky scoffs, and pushes off of the doorframe, walking off to the kitchen to, I`m guessing, get her keys and get her ass to work.

I shake my head. That woman is so infuriating sometimes. I shake it off and scavenge around for some clean, warm clothes.

I finally throw on an outfit that matches... quite well, actually. Hm. I admire myself in the mirror for a moment, and then pull my almost-ever-present moose hat on. I love moose.

I trudge through the house, past Mom and Dad chilling on the couch, and Sophia , my sister, coloring in one of her coloring books.

Sophia glances up as I pass, and grins at me, her missing front tooth making her that much more adorable, and then quickly hides her drawing.

I crouch next to her, and ruffle her hair lightly. "What`s up, buttercup?"

She grins again at the nickname, and then, almost shyly, says, "Nothing."

I raise an eyebrow. "Really? What were you coloring there?"

Sophia giggles, and it brings a warm smile to my face. "Just something for you."

I raise my other eyebrow, and look surprised. "For _me? _Oh, you didn`t have to, sweetheart."

She whips out her drawing, which is of a pink moose, and it`s drinking from purple water. Her name is scrawled in the corner, with a heart next to it.

I take the flimsy sheet of paper, and chuckle. "Thank you so much, Soph."

She grins broadly, and throws her arms around my neck in a hug.

I take her hand, and lead her into my current bedroom, where I put it into the space in between the mirror and the frame of it. I smile down at her, and then she scurries off to do who-knows-what.

After she leaves, I stare at the moose for a few moments, and I can feel the tears threatening me. No. I won`t fucking cry. I rub at my eyes furiously, until it hurts, and then I stop and take a breather.

Everyone has taken notice of Sophia`s declining health. Sometimes she`ll be just fine. The perfect, happy four-year-old she should be, but other times... you can really tell that she`s sick. And what really blows is that we don`t have enough money for treatment.

My sister has cancer. It doesn`t even matter what kind, it just matters that it`s there, and that it`s untreatable. The doctors say that she may only have a few months to live. That`s why we`re even on this vacation. So that... if the worst happens, at least she`ll have been able to have a bit of fun before... you know.

I hate thinking about this kind of stuff, but I can`t help it. She`s such a loving, happy girl. She doesn`t deserve this shit!

And yes, this is very typical and cliché... but I really, truly wish it was me instead of her. I haven`t had the best life... but she still can. She still has her entire fucking life ahead of her. My life has already been screwed over.

I don`t even feel the tears running down my face, until I glance at myself in the mirror.

I angrily wipe them away, muttering, "Damn it." When I`ve wiped them all away, I walk into the bathroom adjoining this guest bedroom, and splash a bit of water on my face. Fuck.

My phone beeps at me, alerting me to the fact that someone has texted me. I pull it out of my coat pocket, and check the name. Tyler. Good, I wanted to talk to him.

I grab my messenger bag, which hold my laptop and my camera and other shit like that, and head for the front door, yelling over my shoulder, "I`m going out for a while! Call me if you need me!"

I hear a few mumbles in response, and then I`m out the door, walking down the sidewalk.

I check Tyler`s message. It says that he wants to talk.

I feel a tightening in my gut. Oh shit. He`s going to want to talk about what went down right before I left.

With cold fingers, I type a response.

_There`s nothing to talk about._

I`m not like my other idiotic friends, who use text speak, or whatever the hell it`s called. I actually despise it, being semi-OCD like I am.

Tyler texts me back, saying that there is indeed something we need to talk about, and that I know what it is.

My fingers tighten around the phone, and I stop walking. Thumbs shaking, I type out: _I know._

It takes a few moments until he replies. _Why did you do it?_

I swallow, and say, _I don`t know. I was just caught up in the moment. I thought that that was what you wanted._

His message is almost immediate this time. _It wasn`t._

And just like that, I feel my heart break. I feel tears welling up in my eyes, but force them back. I might accidentally cry in the safety of a house, but I will never, _ever _cry on a sidewalk in an unfamiliar town, where anyone might see.

Another text. _Oliver... we can`t be friends anymore. It`s just too weird._

And now he`s ripped my heart out and stomped on it.

You can probably tell what`s happened, but if you somehow can`t, then here it is.

For years Tyler has been my best friend, and recently I`ve started harboring more... err... intimate feeling towards him. Before I left on the trip to Colorado, when he hugged me goodbye, it felt like he lingered for a moment, and then he just looked at me. I kissed him, and he was very surprised. He was just standing there, staring at me, and then he just... walked away. I wished I could take it back, but there isn`t any repairing whatever damage had been done. And now I`m paying for it by losing my best friend, one of my very few friends, actually.

Yet another text. _Oliver? Well... I guess you don`t have to respond, but I would like to know that you`re at least getting these messages._

I stare down at my phone, and with trembling fingers, tap out, _Yeah... I get it. Goodbye, Tyler._

I pocket my phone, and just stand there for a second, before continuing down the street.

I walk for a while, until I realize that I have no fucking clue where I am.

I glance around, and see that I`m standing in front of a huge house.

I start to turn around, but something about the house strikes me as familiar.

I stare at the house for a while, until it hits me, right in the face. With a snowball.

An average-height man is standing in the yard, his eyes displaying curiosity, but his face a blank slate.

"Why the hell are you just standing there?" The man asks, and I recognize that voice. I recognize his face. I recognize this house.

This is the Creature house.


	2. Chapter 2

I look at the person who threw a snowball at me, disbelief must be splattered onto my face.

He chuckles, then gestures me over to him.

I walk over, and he hugs me loosely, before letting me go. "It`s always nice to meet a fan."

I finally snap out of it and smile at him. "Oh, th-that`s ch-ch-chill." Oh, shit. There goes my fucking stutter. Damn it, that only happens under weird circumstances. But I guess this is a pretty weird circumstance.

He turns around, and heads towards the house. He looks back at me. "You coming or what?"

I nod enthusiastically, and almost trip in my haste to catch up to him.

He chuckles again, and opens the door.

We walk in, and he yells, "We got a fan or something!"

A head pokes down from upstairs, and I recognize it as Nova. He saunters down the stairs, looking at me with warmth in his brown eyes.

"Hey!" He calls, a grin on his face. "Who`re you?"

I stick out my hand, a broad smile on my face. "I`m Oliver." I tell him.

He nods, and pumps my hand up and down. "I`m James, but most people call me Nova, as you may know."

I nod back. "Of c-course I know that-t." Shit.

Two more pairs of feet come tromping up the stairs, and it turns out to be Kootra and Dan.

They smile, and shake my hands. They introduce themselves to me, and I introduce myself to them.

We`re quiet for a few moments, until Sly comes bounding down the stairs, eyes wide. "A fan?" He asks as he slides across the wooden floors in sock-feet.

I put out my hand for him to shake it, but he engulfs me in a hug, and move from side to side as he hugs me.

He lets me go, and stands back, a grin on his face.

I`m flustered, to say the least. He knocked my glasses askew, and my hat is coming off. I stare at him for a moment, then adjust my glasses and hat, and blink at him.

"Um... I-I`m Oliver." I finally mumble.

"Hi Oliver!" Sly says, beaming. "Are you a Homie?"

I nod slowly, afraid that he might hug me again.

He doesn`t, he just keeps smiling and says, "That awesome, bro!" He does pat my shoulder, though, not too lightly, but not roughly.

I smile in relief, and wiggle a bit, trying to realign my jacket, which was somehow turned to the side.

We just stand there awkwardly for a few seconds, until Jordan says, "Well, you want to see the house, Oliver?"

I nod happily, and he smiles, before waving his hands for us to follow him.

I feel someone tap my shoulder, and turn to see Seamus standing there. "Hey, you want me to put your bag somewhere?"

I clutch the strap, but concede, and take it off, passing it to the man.

He carefully takes it and heads up the stairs.

I follow Kootra, who is waiting patiently for me, and walk deeper into the house.

_**LINEBREAK**_

After the tour, I find myself sitting in the basement with the Creatures, laughing at some joke that Sly just made.

I decide that I should check the time, and pull out my phone. A text from Tyler. Must`ve texted me during the tour.

The smile dies on my lips, and I stare at his name. Reading it over and over. If I unlock my phone, I`ll probably have to read it.

I sigh, and unlock my phone.

I read his message quickly. _I hope that if you get over me we could be friends again. :)_

Something about that smiley face he put at the end really gets under my skin, and I feel a bubble of anger well up in my chest. I clench my fingers around my phone, and then I hear a voice.

"Oliver?" It`s saying. It snaps me out of my anger, which dissolves as I look up at the confused faces around me.

Seamus speaks again. "You okay?"

I look at him, and nod, cracking a small, and what I hope is reassuring, smile.

He smiles back, but something in those blue eyes of his tells me he isn`t convinced.

I finally tear my eyes away and glance at the time. Nearing noon. I`ve been gone for two hours already? Jesus.

I stand, stretching a bit. "Well, it has been very chill hanging out with you g-guys, but I don`t want to be a burden, so I suppose I should be heading out now."

Seamus stands, too. "You aren`t being a burden! It`s been fun hanging out with you!" A chorus of voices sound, agreeing with him.

I smile, but shake my head. "I wouldn`t want to overstay my welcome." I feel a pang of hunger. "I should probably be heading home soon anyways, maybe grab a bite to eat on the way back."

Seamus makes a face. "Come on! Hang out for a little while." He insists.

I chuckle. "I really shouldn`t."

He sighs. "Okay, but at least let me walk you home or something."

I give in. "Alright." I look around. "Where`s my bag, by the way?"

Seamus makes a noise of acknowledgement, and starts up the stairs, gesturing for me to come along.

I go after him, waving goodbye to the guys.

They wave back, and they`re smiling.

Seamus leads me up to his room, where he grabs my bag off of his bed and shoves his feet into shoes.

I take my bag from him and sling it over my shoulder, shifting its weight and feeling much more anchored and safe.

He looks at me, eyebrows raised. "You sure you want to go?"

I shrug, and nod slowly. I`m not sure. I don`t want to leave.

Seamus sighs, then exits his room, leaving me to trail along after him.

He`s waiting by the door, and opens it for me. We walk out into the chilly December air.

I pull my coat around me tightly, burying my fingers underneath my arms.

We walk in silence for a while, until Seamus breaks the silence with, "Where do you want to eat?"

I glance over at him, and see that he`s watching me. "O-Oh... I, um, I don`t know. Where`s a good p-place to eat?"

He scratches the back of his head. "Well there`s a place just about a half of a mile away. We could stop by there real quick.

I nod my agreement and we continue shuffling along.

About halfway there, it starts to snow. Big, heavy snowflakes that soon leave a white sheet over everything.

"Shit." I say. "We can`t keep walking around in this." I look around, and see that we are in my neighborhood. I can see the moderately-sized house from here. Without thinking, I grab Seamus` forearm, and start towards the house. "Come on, Sea-moose."

Seamus lets me drag him to the house, and I fumble for my keys, before unlocking the front door and pulling him inside.

"Hello?" I call out.

No answer. They must have gone to the store or something.

I bet Sophia is just reveling in this snow right now.

Then my phone rings. I grab it out of my pocket, and answer.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Hey honey." Mom says. "Your father, Sophia, the twins and I are out for the day, and we won`t be back until around midnight. There are leftovers in the fridge. Becky should be home at around 9, she has to work late today."

I nod, even though she can`t see it. "Okay. See you later."

"Love you, Ollie." She croons.

I cough awkwardly. "You too."

I hang up, and look at Seamus, who is staring out the window.

He turns to me. "I think we`re going to be here a while. The snow is already, like, 5 inches deep."

I peer out the window. Sure enough, the snow is pretty high. "Well, you can chill here for a while. We`ll have the house all to ourselves, I guess. Becky, my cousin or aunt or whatever the hell she is, won`t be home until around 9, so until then it`ll just be me and you."

He nods, and smiles. "I could think of worse people to be stuck in a house alone with."

I smile back, and lead him into the kitchen, where I start to go about making food for lunch.


	3. Chapter 3

Seamus and I soon get bored of watching TV, and so I grab my laptop, and go through the small collection of games that I`d brought with me on this trip. I stop flipping through the cases, and stare at the game, feeling sadness whisper through my mind. I swallow the sudden lump in my throat, and move on to the next game.

Seamus reaches over, and carefully pulls the stack away from me. He locates the one I was staring at, and looks it over. He raises an eyebrow at me. "It`s just Skyrim."

I swallow again, and nod. "I know." I say, my voice sounding hoarse. "It`s just... my friend got that for me... and he just 'broke up' with me, in essence."

His other eyebrow lifts. "So... you`re gay?"

My eyes widen. "Fuck! I-I meant that he-"

I`m interrupted by Seamus` laughter. I look at him.

"I know what you meant, Oliver! I was just fucking with you!" He laughs.

I feel a blush creeping up on me, and look away. "O-Oh." I murmur. I get up, mumbling something about checking to see how high the snow was.

I got out of there, still blushing like an idiot.

I check the snow. It`s whipping around crazily, and I can`t see a damned thing, unfortunately. I go back to the living room, and see that Seamus is on my computer. He`s playing some game, and I don`t care enough right now to ask him what it is.

I chuckle softly, then trudge into my room.

I shed my coat and hat, and kick off my shoes while I`m at it. I change into some pajama pants and a long-sleeved thermal, and return to the couch, plopping down next to Seamus and looking at the computer screen.

He`s playing Skyrim, but hits the menu button when I sit down.

He looks at me, a strange expression on his face, and he pushes my laptop off of his legs, and places it on the side-table.

Seamus turns to face me, and sits cross-legged on the couch. "Tell me about yourself." He says with a smile.

I smile, hesitantly, back at him. "Well... My name is Oliver Barlow, I`m nineteen years old, I live in Arkansas and go to college there. I`m taking photography and art classes. I want to be an artist when I "grow up." I love moose. And I have a sister named Sophia."

He nods. "Okay. I`m Seamus O`Doherty, I`m twenty-four years old, I live.. well, here. I have a job. I make videos. I am sometimes called 'Seamoose.' "

I nod back, and smile again. "So you`re five years older than me?"

He smirks. "I`m taller than you, too."

I frown, and blush slightly. "Yes, yes, I know, I`m incredibly short. Ha fucking ha."

Seamus raises an eyebrow. "Are you blushing?"

I glare at him. "Yes! I`m embarrassed about my height, and have a good reason!"

He pokes me cheek. "Never did I ever think that I would make a guy blush. Lemme try again." He reaches forward and caresses my hand.

I feel a fiery blush ignite in my cheeks, and shy away from his touch.

He chuckles, and runs his fingers down my face.

My blush spreads, and my whole face must be red.

Seamus laughs again, and removes his hand, picking up my laptop and going back to Skyrim.

I watch him, confused and still blushing, until he glances over at me.

He smirks, and his eyes slowly slide back to the game, but not before he throws me a wink.

Despite myself, I giggle, like a girl. Fuck. I just want to fucking die now.

Seamus chuckles at my girly laughter, but makes no comment.

I turn away, and stand. "I`ll be right back."

I scurry off to my bedroom, and bury my face in my hands. Oh my fucking god. I`m embarrassing myself so hard.

A soft knock at the door interrupts my 'I wish I could curl up and die' dramatics.

"Come in."

Seamus pokes his head in. "Hey." He glances around. "Pretty nice room you`ve got here."

I shrug. "It`s not really mine."

He sits next to me. "I`m sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

A heavy silence falls over us. Finally, I murmur, "It`s chill."

He gets up. "Alrighty then. So, what do you want to do?"

I shrug. "I`m not sure."

He starts pacing the room, humming.

I watch him walk around for a while, and then stop him with, "Stop fucking pacing!"

He glances over at me, but is otherwise unfazed. "What the fuck else am I supposed to do? Just fucking sit on my ass and wait this fucking storm out?"

"Yes." I murmur. "That`s exactly what you`re supposed to do, because there`s nothing else to do in this goddamned house!" My words rise gradually in volume, until I yell out the last few words.

Seamus stops his stupid fucking pacing- thank the fucking Lord- and stares at me.

I stare right back. "Why the fuck are you staring at me like that?"

He shrugs, then looks away and goes back to pacing, humming a tuneless song.

I stand up, and grab his shoulders. "Would you stop. Fucking. Pacing?!"

He smiles lazily, and taps my nose with his finger, before gently removing himself from my grip, and walking off into the living room.

I sigh, and pinch the bridge of my nose. What the fuck.

I check the snow again. It`s stopped snowing, and the sun is back out already, melting some of it.

Seamus comes up behind me and peers over my shoulder outside. "Cool! I can get home now! It`s, like, three."

"Wow." I mutter. "I didn`t realize we had been here for such a long time."

I feel him nod against my shoulder, and then he walks off to grab his jacket. I watch him slide into it, and then look around.

He grabs a slip of paper and a pen, and writes something quickly. He heads for the door.

"Y-You can`t leave!" I blurt out.

Seamus stops and looks at me. "Why not?"

Something in his eyes tells me that he`s kind of suspicious.

I hurry to think of something. "I, uh... you said you would take me to lunch! A-at that place down the street."

He smiles, then puts the presses the piece of paper into my palm. "For whenever you want me to make up that lunch for you."

Seamus departs with a wink, and the soft _click _of the door closing.

I glance down at the paper with his number on it, and feel happiness bubble up in my chest. He gave me a way to contact him. That must mean something, right?

I shuffle off to my bedroom with that thought in my head, and, having nothing else to do, I nap, and I don`t dream.


	4. Chapter 4

_I, have everything. But I, don`t need anything._

_ All I want is to see your face again._

_ The smile, I fell in love with; the eyes, that were brokenhearted when you saw my face._

_ That was the day everything changed._

A voice reaches my ears, and I glance down the hall, curious as to who that could be.

The voice is unfamiliar, but I feel like I`ve heard it a million times before.

I realize that whoever it is is singing. The song is all too familiar. I wrote it myself.

It`s at the beginning of the first chorus, one of my favorite parts.

_The day you left; the day I cried; the day all hope within me died. _

_ The day all you left me with was a goodbye._

_ The day couldn`t hold back and endless night._

_ When all I wanted was to be in your life._

I walk slowly down the hall, and stop in front of my bedroom door.

This seems to be the source of the music.

I open the door, and look in.

I`m sitting on the bed, tears slipping from my eyes, but I`m strumming my guitar, and singing my song.

I`m confused for a moment. How could I be sitting on the bed when I`m right here?

This must be wrong. Unless I`m dreaming?

I must be dreaming. Yeah, that`s it.

Damn. I never realized how good of a singer I am.

I keep listening.

_I, am floundering, in, an empty sea._

_ Adrift, my thoughts my only company, and as the waters rise until I`m drowning, the ocean life is completely surrounding me._

_ The day is fading quickly until all I see is darkness all around me._

I don`t remember getting this far in the song.

Strange.

Baffled and intrigued, I decide to listen to the rest of the song.

_The day I left; the day you died; the day all light burned out inside._

_ The day the ray of sunshine finally shied, away from me._

_ Why couldn`t you just let me be?_

_ I was at peace, although three`s more than company, I could breathe, in the morning air, or any air at all._

_ The day you told me that you cared!_

_ The day I got scared._

Scared? I don`t get scared easily.

_The day we left; the day we walked away; the day we left our troubles far away._

_ The day without an end besides when the moons showed its face._

_ The day I wish we had stayed._

_ But now`s too late for wishing, besides, I wasted all of mine on stars, staring at the at the sky, you and I, side by side._

_ I, have nothing. But I, just want one thing._

The song winds down, and ends with a long, mournful note.

I still stand at the door, saddened now, but still confused.

Being me, I understand what it means, but I don`t like it.

I don`t want to be in this dream anymore.

And just like that, I`m not.

_**LINEBREAK**_

I sit up slowly, stretching and yawning away the last remnants of sleep, but I get the feeling that I`m forgetting something.

I try to shake it off, and rise slowly, feeling my joints pop as I do so.

I groan quietly, but move on.

I step into the kitchen, and shiver as my bare feet come into contact with the cold linoleum. I glance at the time on the oven clock. Almost noon.

Lunchtime.

Suddenly I remember something.

A few days ago, didn`t Seamus give me his number?

I dig around in my pocket, and produce a scrap of paper. Ten digits are scrawled onto it.

I find my phone, and dial the numbers, feeling my stomach wind up in knots as it rings.

Finally, a groggy answer, "What?"

I laugh. "Well that`s a nice way to greet someone."

A pause. "Who is this?"

I sigh. "It`s me, Oliver. I understand that you don`t remember me. But we got stuck in my house for a while, and you told me that-"

"Ah. You want that lunch. Okay. I think I remember where you live. I`ll come get you in and hour." He interrupts.

"Oh. Okay." I say.

"By the way, what time is it?"

I laugh. "It`s noon now."

I can visualize him nodding. "Okay. See you at one."

I smile. "See you then." I hang up.

A stupid smile creeps up on my face, and I must look like an idiot, standing in the kitchen in my pajamas, clutching a phone to my chest with a dumb smile plastered on my face; but for the moment, I don`t give a shit.

I finally snap out of it and realize I spent five minutes standing there. I have to get ready!

I scurry off to the bathroom to shower really quick, and brush my teeth and hair.

That takes about twenty minutes.

I spend the rest of the hour picking out an outfit.

I finally settle on a casual, but flattering ensemble, very earthy colors (they look good on me because of my paleness, eye color, and my dark brown hair) a nice scarf, and, of course, my moose hat. I don`t go anywhere without, even in Arkansas.

My doorbell rings. I whip towards the door, eyes wide, and scramble to the door, then regain my composure before opening the door and smiling.

Seamus is standing outside, Sly and Nova behind him, smiling widely.

"Step inside for a moment, guys. I`ve just got to grab my bag." The trio stand just inside the doorway, as I scamper off to my room to snatch my bag.

I toss it over my shoulder, and reposition it quickly, before returning to the guys, who are looking around, mildly curious.

I smile at them as I re-enter the room. "You ready?"

I receive a chorus of yeses.

"Then let`s go, bitches!" I exclaim, excited. Then I realize what I just said, and who I said it to. "Oh fuck. Sorry. Didn`t mean to-"

Their laughter stops me. Seamus claps a hand on my shoulder. "Stop worrying. It`s fine."

I blush slightly. "Well, o-okay." I offer a weak smile.

The guys file out the door, leaving me to follow behind.

We crowd onto the sidewalk, with the three walking side by side, talking animatedly, while I hang back, half-listening, but half-worrying about how I look.

Is it too much? They look like they`re just going out with some friends. Do I look like that? Am I too dressed up?

Suddenly I crash into someone. "Oh God. I`m so sorry. I didn`t mean to-"

Hands on my shoulders. "Seriously Oliver. Calm the hell down. You`re back here having a panic attack or some shit like that. Are you okay?"

I nod up at Seamus, and then a realization crashes down onto me. "Oh fuck." I murmur.

I shake off Seamus` hands, and turn away. I start digging through my messenger bag, searching for the bottle. Shitshitshitshit! "Where the fuck is it?" I hiss through clenched teeth.

"Whatcha lookin' for?" Nova asks.

I glance up at him for a millisecond. "Oh, nothing."

"Well it doesn`t sound like nothing." Sly comments.

I stop looking through my bag, having located the item at the very bottom, and thanking God that I put that in there.

I shrug. "I found it, so it`s no problem."

Seamus raises an eyebrow. "What exactly did you find?"

I make a dismissive gesture. "Oh, just this thing." I say vaguely.

He looks at me suspiciously, but eventually nods. "Okay then. Whatever. We`re almost there."

I smile. "Cool. I`m fucking starving."

We continue on, and I see the little cafe. It looks quaint and very... homey.

We enter, and it has a very warm, inviting atmosphere, and- oh God those scones look amazing.

My mouth starts watering at the delectable smells wafting around, and I inhale deeply, releasing the breath with a great sigh.

Seamus chuckles at my reaction, but the other two are too busy ordering to pay attention to me.

I stare at the menu, eyes wide. I finally decide on something that sounds pretty fucking good, and a nice cappuccino.

Then I remember the bottle in my bag, and quickly excuse myself to the restroom. For such a home-like place, the bathrooms surprise me.

Just the normal sterile white restroom with four stalls and four sinks, and a few hand dryers.

I ignore the aesthetics, and instead dig out the small green bottle.

I screw the cap off of it, and tip it. A single, small pill tumbles into my palm.

After a moment`s hesitation, I pop the pill into my mouth, and swallow.

Quickly, I put my hands under the faucet, and gather water into my hands, and sip from my cupped hands. I finally feel like the pill has gone all the way down, and straighten, a sigh sliding out of my mouth and filling the room.

Seamus enters just then, sees the empty bottle on the counter, sees me standing with a probably red and puffy face, sighing deeply.

I glance at him, and gulp.

He stares at me for a moment, before whispering. "What the fuck did you do, Oliver?"

I stare back at him, unable to speak.

He walks towards me. "Oliver."

I still just watch him silently. No one knows about the pills. But... he doesn`t know what they`re for. Maybe I can just... I don`t know. Lie?

I`m about to try and say something when his fingers wrap around the bottle, and he reads the label.

I can see him swallow, and he looks at me.

I am, once again, speechless, and stare openmouthed at him.

"W-what the fuck? Why the fuck d-do you have these?" Seamus asks, his eyes wide.

I blink stupidly at him, before murmuring, "I-I can`t... I just... need them."

His fingers tighten around the green plastic. "Fuck." He mutters. "Oliver... y-you`re fucked up worse than I thought."

I feel a slice of anger cut into me. "More fucked up than you thought, eh? Just how fucked up did you fucking think I was?"

He shakes his head. "Not this fucked up." He drops the bottle at my feet, before turning on his heel and storming out of the bathroom.

I stare at the bottle rolling around on the tiled floor, and hear his angry footsteps, and the door slam closed. That hurts me more than watching him leave.

It`s so reminiscent of the past.

Unwanted memories bombard me.

A slamming door. An angry voice. Pain, so much pain. Curling in the corner, crying myself to sleep at three in the morning on a school night, worried about being late, what he`d do to me if I was.

But then she came and got me. Took me somewhere safe.

I feel the tears pouring down my face, but do nothing to stop the flow of liquid.

I collapse into a heap on the floor, and slowly curl into a ball and sob quietly.

Except this time, I have a sneaking suspicion that no one will come for me.


	5. Chapter 5

_**This chapter contains yaoi-y subjects/content. You have been warned.**_

I need a refill on my prescription.

I realize this as I lay on the floor. I realize that that was my last pill, and I need those.

I tremble as I struggle to my feet, and grab the empty bottle and cap.

The bottle is cold.

I don`t know why this observation hurts me. I glance at the label on the bottle, and read it.

I know what they`re for, but I never wanted anyone to find out. Especially not him.

I exit the bathroom, my bones aching, and see that the place is almost completely empty.

At one of the empty tables, untouched food and a cappuccino sit, a sticky-note on the drink.

I reluctantly cross the room to it, and glance at the words on the yellow paper.

_Leave this out here. Please._

I sigh as I read it, and take the drink.

It is no longer hot.

I can`t bring myself to eat the food I ordered, so I end up just carrying it loosely as I walk home.

I bet Sophia would enjoy it.

I try to block out the sting of snowflakes at the wind whips them into my face.

I finally reach the house, and enter hesitantly.

The house is still horribly empty and silent.

I just need a friend.

I glance at my phone, and decide to do something really stupid.

I tap the screen, and select his number.

I send a quick text to him.

**Can we talk?**

I few minutes pass. I start to think that he isn`t going to answer, when he does.

_I told you not to contact me anymore. I told you that I wouldn`t talk to you until you got over me._

**God damn it, Tyler!**

** Not everything is about you!**

_Then what is this about, Oliver?_

**I just really need someone to talk to right now.**

** I just ran out of medication, and I`m afraid that I`ll do something really dumb.**

_Jesus Christ, Oliver. You just can`t function without me, can you?_

**...No, not really.**

_Fine, asshole._

_ Dude, just go to the pharmacy and refill it._

***sigh* I`m in Colorado, Tyler. I can`t just waltz into a pharmacy and demand a bunch of meds.**

_Why not?_

**...You have got to be fucking kidding me.**

_Hehehe._

_ I am just messing with you._

_ Well, that brings up some problems, I suppose._

_ How long are you supposed to stay there, again?_

**Another two weeks.**

_I thought it was just another week?_

**Naw. They`ve decided to extend our stay again.**

_I don`t get why you don`t just tell them._

I sigh heavily.

**Because they just can`t know, alright?**

_Alright, alright._

_ ...So what are you going to do?_

**I have no fucking idea, Ty.**

** I`m lost here.**

_Well, get a map, then. Or a compass._

**Haha. Your wit never ceases to amuse me.**

_It`s what I`m here for. Your endless source of entertainment._

**I think I could make it for a while, but two weeks?**

** I don`t think so.**

_Hm. Well, why don`t you just come home?_

**And how do you propose I do that?**

_Hitchhike._

**Screw you, Ty.**

_XD_

**Don`t you fucking XD me, mister.**

_XD XD XD XD._

**Oh shit, son.**

** Shit just got real.**

** You are asking for it.**

_Hehe._

**Hey, Ty...**

_Yes?_

**Are we okay?**

_...For now we are._

_ We`ll have to talk when you get back._

**Fine with me.**

** Thanks.**

_No problem._

_ I have to go now._

**Bye.**

_Goodbye... friend._

I smile at the words.

I have my best friend back, if only for now.

A knock interrupts my happiness.

Curious, I open the door to see who it is.

It`s Seamus.

He`s standing there awkwardly, hands in his pockets, unable to look at me.

"Hey." I say finally.

He nods. "Hi."

I widen the door. "Do you want to come in?"

He shrugs. "Is it okay if I do?"

I tentatively reach out and touch his shoulder.

Seamus flinches a bit at the contact, but lets me gently pull him in.

I settle us on the couch, and wait for him to speak.

"I-I`m sorry for freaking out on you." He eventually murmurs.

I pat his hand. "It`s okay." I give a dry chuckle. "You must think I`m some kind of drug addict."

He stares at my hand, which is still placed over his.

Blushing, I start to pull my hand away, but he catches my fingers. "It`s fine." He murmurs. "And no... I just thought maybe you were trying to k-kill yourself." He stumbles on the word kill.

I hold his hand, and give it a slight squeeze. "I wouldn`t. I have to live for Sophia`s sake." I hesitate, then decide to hell with it. "I need those pills because I`m a schizophrenic, and I`m depressed, and I have slight insomnia. It might not seem like it, especially the insomnia part, but that`s the whole point. The pills help me lots. And... that was my last one... and I can`t get my _fucking _prescription refilled for another two weeks, when my parents take me back to Arkansas."

Seamus looks at me, but I`m no longer looking at him, and I feel a single tear slide down my face. He reaches toward me, and carefully wipes the tear away with his thumb, leaving a trail of sparks in its wake.

My other hand rises to hold his, the one caressing my face.

He gently tilts my head up, and leans in close to me. So close that I can feel his warm breath on my lips.

His breath smells of peppermint.

My eyes flick to his, and I see concern, and something else... something that I can`t identify.

Seamus hesitates. "C-Can I...?" He trails off.

I nod, almost imperceptibly.

He edges closer, until our lips brush against each other.

Sparks explode in my stomach, and I press our lips together a bit harder.

He smiles against my mouth, but doesn`t try to push it any farther than just a nice, innocent kiss.

I pull away, finally, and just look into his beautiful blue eyes.

Seamus smiles at me, and intertwines our fingers. "I like you, Oliver." He rests his forehead against mine. "I really do. I won`t let you deal with this shit alone as long as you`re here."

A small smile tugs at my lips, and I press a sweet, gentle kiss against his.

Once again, he takes it no further.

I am once again the one to pull away. I curl up on the couch next to him, feeling warm inside, and grab a pillow. I place the pillow on his lap, and put my head down on him, turning over and staring up at him, my hands joined on my stomach, my legs crossed.

We sit there for long while, just staring at each other, until he places a kiss on my nose, and leans back, his head flopping back.

Before long I hear the soft, deep breaths of a sleeping person.

I don`t dare fall asleep, not that I could, anyway, what with the fluttering in my chest.

Then Seamus` hand slips off of the back of the couch, and _right into my lap._

I stare at the hand, eyes wide. His hand is actually on top of my crotch. Fucking shitberries.

A weird feeling rises, and I fight it with everything I have in me, but I`m forced to succumb to it. When I do, I get up as quickly as possible without waking him up, and sneak to the bathroom.

I... eh... get down to business, and then the doorknob starts turning.

Shit. Shit. Shit. SHIT!

I`m almost finished, too. Fuck.

I stand up and turn my back to the door, pretending to study the walls.

A sleepy voice. "What the fuck are you doing?"

I turn my head to look at him, shrug nonchalantly, and go back to staring at the wall. "Nothing much."

A pause. I`m still fucking hard.

"You`re jerking off in here, aren`t you?" His slightly accusatory tone reaches my ears.

Startled, I turn to look at him. "How did you-" I cover myself. "How did you know?"

Seamus raises his eyebrows. "You look very suspicious standing in a bathroom, facing a wall, with your pants down."

I blush. Oops, I hadn`t remembered to pull my pants up. "W-Well, um- y-your hand, it, it fell into my lap, and, and it was on my... um..."

He smirks. "So sleeping Seamus got a bit frisky, eh? Put his hand on your crotch?"

My blush deepens. "Fuck, Seamus. You sound proud of yourself."

He shrugs. "Maybe I am." He looks at me. "You should probably take care of that."

I glance down at myself. Why the fuck am I still hard? "W-What, now?"

Seamus nods. "Uh, yeah, now."

I must be completely scarlet by now. "But... you`re here."

He gives me a strange look. "So?"

I`m horrified. "Y-You want t-to _watch?" _

He shrugs. "I`ll see your dick eventually."

I gasp. "Whoa. What makes you think _that?" _

He smirks. "Are you really this innocent?"

I feel my eyes widen. "We`re going to have... sex?"

Seamus sighs deeply. "What else are we going to do. We can`t be one of those couples who never does it."

I am painfully aware of my throbbing erection. "Oh fuck. Couple? Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck!"

He groans. "Just fucking do it already. I`ll leave, if you want me to leave you alone."

He`s dead serious. "D-Don`t leave me." I plead.

"Then get on with it. I`m not trying to push you to do anything you don`t want to do. I`ll wait in the living room, if that makes you more comfortable." He suggests.

I nod. "C-Could you? I`m too embarrassed to do this in front of you."

Seamus smiles, then departs.

I quickly finish myself off, moaning loudly as I do so. I clean up after myself, then return to Seamus.

He looks at me as I enter, his face kind of flushed. "Y-You were making some- ah- erotic noises back there."

I raise an eyebrow, and I see his slight bulge. "Are you fucking serious?"

He looks away. "I couldn`t help it. I could hear you... moaning and gasping and.. oh God."

I think he just fucking grew. "Use the bathroom, asshole. Clean up after yourself."

He scurries off down the hall, throwing a thank you over his shoulder.

I shake my head and chuckle, before making sure that he`s safely in the bathroom, before digging around in my messenger bag, locating what I`m searching for.

I step outside, and when I finally re-enter, after Seamus is done, and he`s probably cleaning up, I feel so much better, and throw my stuff back into my bag.

I flop back onto the couch, and Seamus walks back in, finding me grinning, a distant look in my eyes.

He slowly walks over to me. He inhales. "It smells like fucking- You fucking didn`t."

I smile at him. "Didn`t what, Sea-mooooooooose?" I drawl.

He stares into my eyes. "You`re high."

I`m still grinning lazily. "Yeah, man. I`m fucking flying 'round this here bitch. It`s wickedly chill."

Seamus steps back, a disgusted look on his face. "Where did you put your drugs?"

I try to look coy.. or is the word I`m looking for sly? "You`ll never fucking find 'em. They`re somewhere safe. Totally top-fucking-secret."

He stares at me for a moment, before pulling my stuff out of my messenger bag. He wrinkles his nose, and walks away with them.

I wonder where he`s going , but I`m soon distracted by the fact that my fingers are so long.

He comes back soon after he left, with an empty baggie. "I flushed the rest of this nasty shit down the toilet."

I make a face. "Why the fuck?"

Seamus stares at me, his eyes cold and hard. "I`m going to take care of you, don`t you worry." He sits with me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, and flipping the TV on.

I fall asleep on him, halfway through Adventure Time.

He doesn`t leave me.


	6. Chapter 6

Seamus and I are walking down the street.

The snowflakes float to the ground, silently adding onto the ever-growing snowdrifts.

We`ve been out for around four hours now. We went to see a movie with some of the other Creatures, then got lunch with them. Now he`s walking me home, but he can`t hang out like yesterday, because he has to record.

We arrive at my house, and he leaves me on my doorstep, pecking me on the cheek before sauntering off down the road back to his house.

We`ve already made plans for tomorrow. He`s going to take me somewhere special (an undisclosed location) and we`re going to chill for a while.

With a smile on my face, I enter the house, and immediately notice something wrong.

Becky is sitting on the couch, her face red and puffy, with tears streaming down her face.

She looks up when she notices me, and jumps to her feet, throwing her arms around me.

"I`m sorry. I`m sorry. Oh my god, Oliver. I am so, so sorry." She sobs over and over again.

A horrible feeling gathers in the pit of my stomach. I wrap my arm around her and hold her to me. "What`s wrong, Becky?"

She backs up to look be in the eyes. "I`m sorry. Th-There was a c-crash."

I stare at her. "W-What?"

"Your parents and Sophia. No one survived." She pulls me back to her and keeps crying.

I get the feeling that I should be crying, but I`m numb.

I blink in confusion. Wasn`t it just earlier today that my mother woke me up when I was sleeping on the couch, and took me back to my bedroom? Wasn`t is just today that my father made breakfast for me? Wasn`t it just this morning that Sophia drew me a picture of our family, all holding hands underneath a rainbow, with blue snowflakes surrounding us?

Wasn`t it just a few moments ago that I was happy? That I wasn`t an orphan yet again, with no one to call _family?_

Yes. It was.

It was just today that I took advantage of my amazing, beautiful family. That I didn`t think anything of the miracle they are.

But one thing pierces through the walls of numbness that have gone up. Sophia needs treatment. I need to save up money to get her that operation she needs. I need to check, for what must be the hundredth time that day, how much money I have; how far away I am from my goal.

I know for a fact that I have $931.42.

I also know that that is all I will ever save up. I won`t spend that money.

That money belongs to her. To _Sophia. _

It`s her hope. It will keep her alive.

As long as I have that money, she`ll be fine.

I repeat that in my mind, blocking out the wave of grief that threatens to drown me as it finally hits me.

I push Becky away, and run back to my room.

I dig through my dresser, and pull out a small bag. This is all I have left.

I do it without hesitation.

When I`m done, smoke fills my room, but I don`t care if anyone finds out anymore.

I`m disconnected from everything. Nothing matters anymore. The numbness has spread to my whole body, and I just want it to end.

I know that Becky has to have sleeping pills.

I stumble out of the smoky bedroom, and into her bathroom.

I throw open the medicine cabinet, and struggle to find her sleeping pills.

When I finally locate the bottle, I tear the lid off and look into it.

Lots of red pills. So many of them.

I pour some into my hand, and stare at them.

Can I fucking do it?

Becky walks in just as I pop them into my mouth.

_"NO!" _She screams, lunging towards me.

She surprises me, and I start to choke.

She pounds on my back until I spit them all into the bathtub.

The tears come unbidden.

Suddenly they`re pouring down my face, and Becky is holding me, being strong for me. Scolding me for what I just tried to do.

"I know." I tell her. "I`m a fucking idiot!"

When I`ve finally calmed down, I rush to the sink and scrub my mouth out. Anything to rid my mouth of the foul taste that is currently occupying it.

I return to my room. The smoke has cleared out.

I see my guitar in the corner, and go to it before I can think of what I`m doing.

I start strumming, and singing the song I know so well, yet have never heard before.

My fingers and voice are on auto-pilot, and I sing, for any and all to hear.

_I, have everything. But I, don`t want anything._

_ All I want is to see your face again._

_ The smile, I fell in love with; the eyes, that were brokenhearted when you saw my face._

_ That was the day everything changed._

_The day you left; the day I cried; the day all hope within me died. _

_ The day all you left me with was a goodbye._

_ The day couldn`t hold back and endless night._

_ When all I wanted was to be in your life._

_I, am floundering, in, an empty sea._

_ Adrift, my thoughts my only company, and as the waters rise until I`m drowning, the ocean life is completely surrounding me._

_ The day is fading quickly until all I see is darkness all around me._

_The day I left; the day you died; the day all light burned out inside._

_ The day the ray of sunshine finally shied, away from me._

_ Why couldn`t you just let me be?_

_ I was at peace, although three`s more than company, I could breathe, in the morning air, or any air at all._

_ The day you told me that you cared!_

_ The day I got scared._

_The day we left; the day we walked away; the day we left our troubles far away._

_ The day without an end besides when the moons showed its face._

_ The day I wish we had stayed._

_ But now`s too late for wishing, besides, I wasted all of mine on stars, staring at the at the sky, you and I, side by side._

_ I, have nothing. But I, just want one thing._

I finish, and keep hearing the notes in my head.

I know it`s about Sophia.

I love that girl so much... and now she`s gone.

I look over to the drawer that houses my operation savings.

Months and months of saving up tips and doing the occasional odd job.

It had started out as wanting to save up enough to buy her a decent birthday present, but had turned into a surgery fund when the doctors told us the news.

And now look where I fucking am.

I thought I`d be able to save her life. But I couldn`t do anything to even help her this time.

I wanted to save her like she`d saved me, all those years ago.

When I`d finally been rescued from my father, and my new mother had taken me in, even though I was fifteen years old.

How she`d gotten pregnant soon after that, but didn`t get rid of me.

How when Sophia was born, I was one of the first people to hold her, and the feeling of that small body held against me, and those beautiful baby blues trained on me, convinced me that there was something worth living for, after all.

That not everything in the world was bad.

And she had taught me be to be protective, and to love someone so much that you feel it with your entire being. I taught her how to write her name, how to spell simple words, I helped teach her to ride her tricycle.

How 'bubby' had been her first word, and how that had always been her nickname for me.

She taught me that if you love someone, it would hurt you, one way or another.

Maybe that`s why I play the song again, barring out the rest of the world, and losing myself in the tune, and in the lyrics.

When I finish the song, I play another one, then another.

I must play for hours, because when I`ve finally played everything out of me, my fingers are raw and red, even though they`re very calloused.

I set my guitar down, and sigh.

Rising from my seated position on the bed, I hiss in pain when I put my hands down to lift myself up.

It`ll take a while to get over this.

I get changed into my pajamas, and trudge to Sophia`s bedroom.

I gather up the stuffed animals she brought with her, and her favorite blanket.

I take them all into my parents` room, and situate myself so that her stuffed animals are all around me, and her blanket is covering me. I fall asleep in that bed, surrounded by the painfully familiar scents of my family.


	7. Chapter 7

I wake up, confused as to why I`m not in my room.

Then I remember, and burrow into the covers, inhaling the warm smell of cinnamon and vanilla and aftershave and shampoo.

The smells of home.

The doorbell brings me back to reality.

I wait, hoping that whoever it is will just leave, but when the doorbell rings again, I begrudgingly rise and trudge to the front door.

I open the door, and Seamus is outside. A car sits at the curb.

Seamus frowns when he sees me. "Why aren`t you ready?"

I frown back. "Aren`t you supposed to be here at, like, two?"

He looks at me for a few moments, before sighing. "It`s two-thirty."

I frown more when he says that. "Huh? Is it really?"

"Yes." He deadpans. "Go get some fucking clothes on, the guys are waiting."

I nod, and shuffle back to my room.

I throw some clothes on, not really caring how I look, but I do remember to put on my moose hat.

I return to Seamus, and he looks me over.

"Something is off." He murmurs. "Your clothes look wrong. Like you didn`t put any thought into it like you normally do."

I shrug, and start out the door.

I climb into the car, where Dan, Kootra, and Nova are waiting.

Seamus piles into the backseat with Nova and I, forcing me to sit in the thin middle seat, where I`m squished up against the two men.

It`s uncomfortably comfortable. I like it, but something about it seems weird to me.

I press as close to Seamus as I can get before it seems suspicious.

The guys start talking about random shit, and I space out, staring out the window, thinking of my family.

Seamus nudges me, and squeezes my leg.

I glance at him, confused.

"You`re shaking." Seamus remarks, before looking at my face. "Are you... are you about to cry?"

I didn`t even realize it, but I _am _trembling. Quite a bit, actually. and now that he mentions it, there is a certain tightness in my throat, and I`m sniffling a bit.

But nonetheless, I shake my head furiously. "No." I mutter, then stare down at my hands, which I knot together on top of my thighs.

I feel Seamus` eyes on me, but I don`t look up until Kootra announces that we`ve arrived.

I get out of the car on Nova`s side, since Seamus takes forever to get out.

I notice that it`s very cold outside. Much too cold for me to be wearing a light jacket, but it barely registers.

Nova looks at me. "Aren`t you fuckin' cold or something?"

I shrug. "No."

He gives me a weird look. "Fuck, man."

I look away from him to see Seamus watching me, a concerned look on his face.

We eat at a nice restaurant, but I pick at my food disinterestedly, instead thinking of my parents.

I figure that it`s bad to dwell, but they just fucking died.

I think I`m allowed to be all depressed and sad and shit.

I feel Seamus watching me, but I don`t acknowledge him.

They try to engage me in conversation, but I provide only vague, dismissive replies.

Needless to say, the... lunner (?) ends uncomfortably.

I go to the bathroom to... you know. Do my business, and Seamus follows me.

"What the fuck is up with you?" He demands.

I look at him, and start towards a stall. "Nothing."

He grabs my arm, and spins me around. "Then why are you being such an asshole?"

I stare at his fingers. "Because a lot of shit`s been going down, Sea-moose. A lot of shit that I wish wouldn`t have happened."

He searches my eyes. "What happened? You can tell me, Oliver."

His hand slides down my arms, and he intertwines our fingers.

"This might be really fucking cheesy, and we just met, but you can seriously tell me anything." He assures me.

I don`t take my eyes off of our joined hands as I whisper, "My...my family died yesterday."

Seamus goes rigid, and his fingers tighten around mine. "W-What?" The shock in his words make me regret telling him.

"You heard me." I mumble, still refusing to look up at him, although I can feel him pining for my attention.

"Holy shit, Oliver. You could`ve told me. Oh I was being such a jackass, I`m sorry, man. Oh God. You didn`t have to come along, I could`ve rescheduled." His free hand comes to my head and he pulls me against him. "How are you doing?"

I let myself relax against him. He`s so warm. "I`m fine, I guess. Better than I think I should be."

He smoothes his hands over my hair, and kisses my forehead. "I`m so sorry, Oliver. I can`t imagine what it must be like to... I`m sorry."

I look up at him, finally, and the look he gives me is full of pity. "I don`t want you to pity me, Seamus. I`m fine, really. I shouldn`t be, but I am."

His eyes turn serious. "Did you sleep last night?"

I nod. "Yeah."

He arches an eyebrow. "How?"

I look away. "I tried to overdose on sleeping pills, and I guess it worked... sort of."

He goes rigid against me. "You... you _what?"_

I try to nuzzle against him, but he is as still as a statue.

Seamus roughly reaches up and grab my chin, tilting my face to look at him. "Why the fuck would you do that, Oliver?"

I glance away. "Isn`t it obvious?"

"Oliver, don`t do that again. _Look at me when I talk to you, Oliver!_" He commands, his voice uncharacteristically rough.

I look at him, right in the eyes, and I`m kind of angry. "Fuck you, Seamus! Don`t tell me to do things! I`ll do what I fucking want, okay? I don`t fucking need you babying me. I don`t want your shit! I`m _fine, _Seamus. Why don`t you believe me when I say that?"

"Because you tried to fucking _kill yourself!" _He yells at me.

"Because I thought I was alone, Seamus! My _fucking family _just _died. _Stop being an asshole for _two fucking seconds _and _listen_ to me!"

Disbelief and anger contort his face. He pushes me away. "_That`s what I`ve been fucking trying to do, Oliver! I am listening to you! You`re telling me that you tried to kill yourself and I`m supposed to fucking brush it off?"_

I glare at him, and then feel a tear slide down my cheek. "No!" My voice breaks. "You`re _not _supposed to just brush it off! I don`t fucking know what you`re supposed to do, but I don`t want your fucking pity! I`m your equal, Seamus." I take a shaky breath. "Yeah, all this shit might have happened, but I don`t want you to pity me because of it. I want you to look at me like you always do."

He looks apologetic. "I can`t fucking do that, Oliver. I _worry _about you, as much as I hate to admit it. I fucking worry. It scares me, because I`m starting to _really care _about you. I don`t pity you, but I can`t look at you the same way, either."

I feel another tear slide down my face. "Why?"

Seamus sighs. "Because I fucking worry about you, that`s why."

"That`s not a proper explanation, Sea-moose." I tell him.

He chuckles humorlessly. "I know, but I can`t fucking explain it. Just know that I do worry. I care. I care and worry about _you. _I`ve never felt this way about someone so soon after meeting them, and it scares me. I just want to protect you, for some reason, and hearing that you... did what you did kills me."

He takes a breath to say more, but is interrupted by my lips crashing into his.

He is taken by surprise, and doesn`t react for a few moments, but then he pushes back, and backs me up against the wall.

We make out sloppily for a while, and the door opens. We don`t hear it.

But we do hear the patron`s surprised, "Oh my God. Seamus? Oliver?"

We look over to see Nova standing there, his eyes bugging out of his head.

Seamus` eyes widen, and he opens his mouth, as if to provide an explanation, but Nova cuts him off.

"You two are fucking _gay? _How the fuck did I not know about this? I guess I should`ve seen it, the way you were looking at Oliver when we were eating."

Seamus is still staring at him, openmouthed.

"Do you have a problem with that?" I ask.

Nova shakes his head, and smiles a little. "Actually, no. I`m just surprised that _Seamus _is gay. I can see it with you, but _him? _Nope, can`t really see it."

I look at him strangely. "What do you mean 'you can see it with me?'"

He seems to realize that he`s kind of in a corner and says, "Well, you know, you just have such an amazing fashion sense."

I stare at him for a few moments, waiting until he gets uncomfortable before I look away, towards Seamus, who is still standing there gaping, looking like a fish. I snap in front of his face. "Seamus? Earth to Seamus!"

Seamus shakes his head and looks at me. "He caught us kissing."

Nova grins. "I sure fucking did! You two were getting at it! Oh, Jordan and Dan are waiting for you two by the way. Oh god, wait until I tell them about this!"

Seamus rushes forward and grabs Nova. "Don`t fucking tell them, please!"

Nova raises his eyebrows. "Whoa, Seamus. You`re a bit too close for comfort, here. But it _could _be comfortable." He says suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows.

I glare, and put my hand possessively on Seamus` waist. "Ahem. The only one here getting _comfy _with Sea-moose will be me."

Nova chuckles. "Yeah, sorry, I know."

I smile. "I know you know."

Seamus also pipes in. "I know you know he knows."

We all look at each other for a moment, straight-faced, and then we all burst into loud laughter.

We exit the restroom, and go to Dan and Kootra, who are not very pleased that we took so long.

"What the heck, man?" Kootra asks. "Were you having a freaking party in there or something?"

We share knowing looks, and shrug collectively.

I answer for all three of us. "We were just being guys. _Bonding, _if you will."

Kootra nods, accepting my answer, and starts the car.

I feel Seamus` hand wriggle around to grasp mine, and I`m comforted by its hold the entire ride home.

* * *

_**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update (DAMN YOU WRITER`S BLOCK!) but here it is. The next chapter will be up around Christmastime, and I will be updating EVERYTHING at around that time. So you fans of mine will be in for a nice Christmas present from yours truly.**_

**_~Tech_**


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: I`m sorry.**_

"OLIVER!" Seamus shouts. "WE`RE GOING TO BE LATE!"

I sigh, and get off of the couch.

Seamus is standing near the door, looking mildly frustrated. "I know it`s just Christmas with the guys, but we said we`d be there by now."

"Calm down, Sea-Moose. The house is just down the street." I kiss his cheek.

He grumbles at me, but captures my lips with his, and his eyes tell me that he isn`t as annoyed as he`s leading me to believe.

He takes my hand, and drags me out into the cold.

"Snow." I mumble in appreciation as we step out into the white wonderland.

"Yeah, we`re in Colorado, it`s not that big of a deal." Seamus chuckles.

"Maybe not to you, but I live in Arkansas. Last year we didn`t really have any snow."

He kisses me again. "Well now you can have as much snow as you want."

I wrap my arm around his waist and pull him close to me, burying my nose in his neck and planting a kiss on his warm skin.

He makes a face at me, he isn`t one for public displays of affection, and bumps me with his hip.

I sigh, and step away from him as we walk up the path to the front door. "Why don`t you just tell them?"

He makes a weird noise, and rubs his eyes. "It`s not that simple, Oliver. I can`t just tell them yet, because... are we even really a _thing?"_

His words hurt me a little. "Well I`d like to think we are." I mutter as he opens the door.

He sighs, and offers his hand to me. "I`ll take your coat."

I shrug my heavy coat off and hand it to him.

"_Oliver!" _Nova yells, jumping onto me and making me fall down. "How you doin' buddy?"

"I`m good. But I`m kind of on the ground. Not a place I`d really like to be."

He gets up, and helps me to my feet. "Sorry."

I chuckle. "It`s fine, broski."

Then Sly runs down the stairs, grinning like a child on Christmas, which he is, essentially, although he`s less of a child and more of an excitable adult. "Hey Homie! Are you excited for _CHRISTMAS?"_

I smile at him, and nod. "Who isn`t?"

He makes a face. "Seamus."

I pat his shoulder. "Seamus is just excited in his own way."

"Well then _that _is the wrong way! Because he should be smiling and dancing around and _singing! _Oh my _GOD _we should be fucking _Christmas carolers! _Holy shit that would be fun!" He bursts out into 'Deck the Halls.'

Nova looks at me pointedly when he joins in to sing, "Don we now our _gay _apparel!"

I scoff, and flip my hair. "Ohmigosh. Like, that is SO not true." I say in my best gay man voice.

Nova starts laughing, and soon Sly joins in, giggling like a fucking maniac. Then I start to chuckle, and we`re all laughing like idiots, about something that actually wasn`t that funny.

"What the fuck are you guys doing?" Seamus asks when he comes back from putting my coat up.

I stumble over to him and I grab him, and fall against him. I catch my breath, and say, "I don`t know, but it`s all shits and giggles over here, man."

He looks at me. "Are you fucking high again?"

I laugh, and hug him randomly. "No man, no. I`m done with that shit. I`m just having a good time."

"Sure you are, you fucking weirdo." Seamus says with a slight smile.

"Oh fuck you, Sea-Moose." I grumble.

I almost kiss him again, but stop myself, remembering where we are, and who we`re with.

I begrudgingly step away from him, and he watches me with longing in his eyes.

Sly suddenly has my wrist, and is dragging me to the basement, pushing me into a chair and spreading his arms wide as he presents the tree with a flourish.

It`s a nice-sized tree, and there are a nice amount of presents under it.

I smile, and relax, waiting for everyone.

They all make their way down the stairs, and while they`re doing whatever, Sly and I are talking, his eyes wide, and his grin huge as he rambles on and on.

I kind of space out, and find myself thinking of my family, knowing that I should be spending this Christmas with them.

Seamus seems to read my mind, and he puts his hand on my shoulder, snapping me out of my thoughts, and providing me with a source of comfort.

I look up at him, and he smiles tightly, his eyes telling me to stop thinking about them.

I nod, and pat his hand, which remains on my shoulder, even though the presents are being passed around.

Everyone ends up getting around six gifts, not counting the ones sent in by fans, and I`m content to just watch them open their gifts, and to see their expressions.

I don`t expect any presents, but it seems that Nova and Sly both got me something.

Sly gets me a fox hat, and Nova... gets me lube. For _Christmas._ And let`s not forget the note, which says: _'Have fun. Wink, wink.'_

I refuse to show anyone the gift, and blush furiously, while thanking Nova, who`s laughing his ass off.

I do say, though, "I appreciate the thought, but don`t you think I already have this shit? 'Always be prepared,' right?" I wink, and Nova starts laughing again, having just calmed down.

Dan looks between us, and asks, "What the hell are you two talking about?"

I wave him off, and chuckle lightly. "Don`t worry yourself with it, Dan. It`s nothing important."

Nova grins. "If _sex _isn`t important!"

I blush again, and look down.

Dan still looks confused. "What did he get you? Porn?"

Nova starts cackling again. "I fuckin' should`ve!"

Seamus looks down at me, and raises an eyebrow.

I finally decide to do something, and grab Seamus` arm, dragging him into another room.

"Sea-Moose, we`re telling them now." I tell him.

His eyes widen. "What? We`re telling them? No! Not yet!"

"Seamus, calm down. It`s the _perfect _time. Just trust me. We`re telling them right now." I walk back to the guys, not giving him time to object.

"No, Oliver! Not yet!" He hisses behind me, grabbing at me, and trying to get me to stop.

"Nope, come o-" I`m silenced by his lips crashing into mine, effectively silencing me.

He pushes me into a room, and we start to make out, after I stop resisting.

We hear footsteps out in the hall, and we almost pause, but I figure it`s a great time to come out, so I pull him closer, pushing him roughly into the wall and grinding on his thigh, getting the muffled groan that I want.

We hear a startled gasp, and Seamus` eyes fly open. He pushes me away, and I look up to see Sly, wide-eyed, staring at us.

"Holy _fuck." _He breathes, and then Nova appears.

Nova grins. "You were getting it on right here? That`s some kinky shit, man. We were right in there!"

Sly is still gaping at us, shell-shocked.

Seamus gulps. "Um- we weren`t-"

Suddenly Sly snaps out of it. "Cut that shit out, Seamus." He says with a broad grin. "They were totally fucking getting it on. Oliver was all over Seamus, grinding on him and shit. It was fucking weird to see."

Nova nods. "Yeah, I know, right? I walked in on 'em at the restaurant a few days ago."

Sly chuckles. "You have a thing for public places, don`t you?"

I grin. "Nah, it just kind of happens everywhere."

Nova smirks. "So I`m guessing I got you the right gift?" He winks.

"Oh, we- uh- we haven`t gone _that _far yet." I admit, a light blush dusting my cheeks.

Seamus makes a horrified face. "Oliver! Don`t just tell people out private business!"

I sigh. "Don`t get your goddamned panties in a twist, Sea-Moose."

_"What the heck is going on back there?" _Kootra shouts, and we`re reminded that we need to get back to them.

So we walk back, Sly and Nova whispering and giggling like little girls.

Dan and Kootra narrow their eyes as we re-enter, and Dan opens his mouth to ask where we were, but I interrupt him.

"I`m gay." I say with a grin.

Dan pauses, his mouth still open, and then raises his eyebrows in surprise. "W-Well... okay then?"

My grin widens as I get an idea. "Oh, and, by the way-" I look at Seamus, and then kiss him, a brief, one-sided kiss, and look back at them. "Seamus is, too. We`re together." I grab his hand.

Dan and Kootra are just staring at us, silent, while Sly and Nova are grinning like idiots.

Finally Kootra says, "I don`t like this."

I raise an eyebrow at him quizzically, and he shakes his head. "Not at all. I don`t fucking approve."

I realize that that`s the first time I`ve ever heard him curse. He fucking serious.

"Because I know there`s something _wrong _with you, Oliver. You`re going to end up hurting Seamus, and I don`t want that to happen to him again."

I start to try and defend myself, but he holds up a hand, stopping me.

"No. I`m talking." He gives me a hard look. "Oliver, you`re a good kid, but Seamus has been hurt before, and it hurt me to see one of my friends that way. This... thing you two have, it`s not going to last. One or both of you is going to get hurt, and I won`t let that happen."

Seamus` hand tightens around mine. "Listen, Jordan. I know you just worry, and you care... but... I love Oliver. It might be stupid, and we just met and all, but... I`ve never felt like this before. I... I`m really happy with him. More happy than I`ve been in a while."

Kootra shakes his head. "No means no, Seamus."

Seamus releases my hand. "I`m a fucking grown man, Jordan. I can date whoever the _fuck _I want!"

Nova speaks up. "Hey, Jordan. I`m no expert on relationship shit, but... Seamus is fuckin' _happy _with Oliver. If you`re really his friend, don`t you want him to be happy?"

Kootra looks at Nova disbelievingly. "Are you... _siding _with them?"

Nova makes a face. "There are no _sides, _Jordan! There`s you, and there`s us. We all just want what`s best for Seamus, and that`s what Oliver is!"

Kootra ignores Nova, and looks up at Seamus. "It`s us or him." The message is clear: You can either let him go, or you can leave the Creatures, and this house.

Seamus stands there silently, clenching his fists and jaw, before he manages to choke something out.

I can`t understand it, but the rest of them do.

I step closer, putting a hand on his shoulder. "What was that?" I ask cautiously.

He looks at me, and I see the tears in his eyes, and the ones that leaked out.

"Get out, Oliver." He growls, and his eyes are full of pain as he says the words.

I feel my heart break, and I stare at him silently, not making a move to leave.

"Go, Oliver! We`re done!" He says, a bit louder this time, and his voice breaks.

I snap back to my senses, and turn, walking slowly up the stairs and going to retrieve my messenger bag, which I know Seamus put on his bed.

As I reach the front door, and I open it, I hear a yell from the basement.

_"I hope you`re fucking happy, Jordan!"_

And then I start home, not even noticing the heavy snow, because it`s much colder inside than out.


	9. Chapter 9

The next week is spent wallowing in self-pity and sadness.

I`ve lost everything now.

The last thing I had... it`s fucking _gone. _

I want to kill myself.

Becky tries to engage me, dragging me out to do stuff with her and her kids.

I let her take me wherever she wants to go, but I don`t really talk anymore.

I`m near my breaking point.

My insomnia is back, and I haven`t slept in almost two days now.

Since I don`t have my medication, or my... other stuff, I have no way to fight it back.

It feels terrible, going back to being sick, but this is me, I guess, and that makes me feel better.

Right now, I`m staring at myself in the mirror, just watching myself, taking in my bedraggled state.

I haven`t shaved in a while, so I have a small amount of facial hair. I`m so skinny, and I have dark circles under my eyes. I look like a drug addict, which I suppose I may be.

Then I space out... and when I snap out of it, a small pile of paper scraps in front of me on the ground.

I crouch, and go through them, finally recognizing it as what used to be the moose that Sophia colored for me.

I start to cry, not even realizing it until Becky is hugging me, telling me it`s all going to be okay.

Then I space out again, and when I come back to my senses this time, I`m in the front seat of Becky`s car, her kids in the back seat, and we`re driving down the road, presumably to a store of some kind.

After a while, we pull up in front of some grocery store, but I don`t pay attention to the name, I just get out of the car after Becky, and let her lead me into the store.

She talks to me, tries to get something out of me, but I just kind of nod absently at whatever she says, ignoring the looks she gives me.

Eventually she presses a bottle into my hand.

I glance down at it, unable to make sense of the label.

But I don`t have to, because she tells me what they`re for. "They`re to help you sleep, Oliver."

Oh. Sleeping pills. I wonder if they`re the same kind she has.

I drop them disinterestedly into thecart, and then wander off, knowing that she`d call me when they were ready to leave.

I get a text, and look down at my phone.

Tyler.

I almost smile, then unlock my phone, curious as to what he wanted to say.

_Hey, Oliver._

_ I..._

_ I heard about your family._

I don`t even deem it necessary to react, even though it pains me whenever someone mentions them.

**Yeah.**

** They died, I guess.**

** People die all the time.**

_...what?_

_ What the hell is wrong with you?_

**What do you mean.**

_'People die all the time' is not what you`re supposed to say when your family dies, Oliver._

**It`s true.**

_That doesn`t fucking matter!_

_ You`re supposed to be sad, and come home, and let me be your fucking bro, so I can help you through this!_

**You want me to come home?**

_Well... yeah._

_ Of course I do, you`re my best friend, dude._

_ I should be able to help you through this shit._

**I didn`t know we were back to being best friends.**

** Funny how pity can make people change their minds.**

** I don`t need your stupid pity. You can shove it up your ass.**

** Goodbye, Tyler.**

I quickly turn my phone off before he can respond, and just as I look up, I crash into someone.

I stumble backwards, and end up on the ground.

The other person drops something that they were holding, and promptly curse at me.

I don`t look up at them, just try to fight the sudden urge to deck this person.

"Jesus! Watch where you`re going, will you?"

They pause.

"Are you not even going to apologize?" They ask angrily.

I clench my teeth, and shake my head.

"Well that`s just _rude. _You could at least have some manners and say you`re sorry."

I pick myself up slowly, still keeping my head down, and my eyes trained on the ground.

"Apologize!" They demand. "And you could look at someone when they`re talking to you, y'know."

I slowly raise my eyes, and then tilt my head upwards, suddenly just feeling numb and tired.

Angry words die in their throat as they see who I am. "Oliver?"

I blink at him, staying silent, but my fists clench almost imperceptibly at my sides.

"Holy shit, I didn`t even recognize you. I-" He stops, gawks at me. "You look terrible."

I blink at him again, before barely shrugging.

He reaches out as if to touch me, but stops himself, and shoves his hand into his pocket.

"Wow. I... didn`t think I would see you again. Sea- um, someone mentioned that you were going home this week."

I shrug, and then murmur, "Things change."

He finally does touch me, patting my shoulder lightly. "Well... Seamus really misses you."

I stiffen, and shy away from his touch. "I don`t see why he would. I`m not worth that."

A gasp. "Don`t fucking say shit like that, Oliver!"

I feel a bubble of anger. "I`ll say whatever I want to fucking say, Sly."

Sly frowns, and shakes his head. "Not stuff like that."

"I`m a fucking grown man, Sly! I`ll do whatever the hell I want!" I growl at him, my voice rising slightly.

He gives me a look. "What the fuck happened to you?"

I deflate, and turn around. "Life happened." I start walking away. "Goodbye, Sly." I say.

He starts to say something, but then stops, and just says, "Yeah. Bye, Oliver."

_**A wild, one-time POV swap appears!**_

_**Sly`s POV**_

After seeing Oliver in the store, I`m convinced that he`s just as fucked up over this as Seamus is.

So that`s why I`m barging into Seamus` room unannounced, and waking him up.

"Get the fuck up, Seamus! We got shit to talk about!" I yell, shaking him awake.

"What the _fuck, _Sly?" He grumbles as he wakes up.

"I saw Oliver." I tell him.

He freezes, and then looks at me. "When? Where?"

"At the store about an hour ago."

He blinks at me silently, before finally saying. "And why did you think this information was important enough to wake me up?"

I`m kind of confused. "Well... because you love him!"

He shakes his head. "No, Sly."

"Yes, Seamus!" I insist. "I _know _you love him. Don`t even fucking bother trying to tell me you don`t. I know you miss him so much, Seamus."

Seamus` jaw clenches. "Sly, I don`t miss him. We were never even really 'together.'"

I grab his shoulders. "That doesn`t mean _anything,_ Seamus. Just because you weren`t an official couple doesn`t mean you don`t love him or miss him."

Seamus blinks a few times, and I can tell he`s struggling not to cry. He never cries. this must`ve really messed him up.

So I flop onto his bed next to him and hug him. Just a nice, comforting bro-hug.

"I do miss him, Sly." He murmurs, and his voice breaks. "I fucking love him so much." He puts his head on my shoulder and hugs me back.

I feel a wetness on my shoulder, but I don`t say anything about it. I just hug him, and I just let him know that I`m there for him.

"I know you do." I mumble. "That`s why you have to go get him back."

Seamus calms down, and then looks at me. "I do , don`t I?"

I nod quietly, and he jumps up, throwing some clothes on quickly and shoving his feet into some shoes.

He smiles at me as he rushes away, and I hear his feet hitting the stairs as he runs out of the house.

I glance out his bedroom window, and see him hurrying down the street, determination on his face.

After a moment, I go downstairs, and find Jordan.

"Yo, Koots." I get his attention.

He looks up at me curiously. "Yeah, Sly?"

I smile. "You better start being okay with Seamus and Oliver, because he`s going to get him back."

He scowls. "That guy is an idiot! Why would he do that? I told him no!"

I pat his shoulder. "Jordan... you can`t just force someone to give up the person they love."

He jumps up, grabs my shoulders. "But the kid`s a fucking _drug addict! _He`s going to drag Seamus down to his level, and he`s going to get him in trouble!"

I shake my head. "That doesn`t fucking matter, Koots. Because, since Seamus loves him, he`s going to do everything in his power to help Oliver. And if that means banning him from drugs, or making him quit, then so be it. That`s what he`ll do." I narrow my eyes at him slightly. "He`s stronger than you give him credit for, Jordan."

I shake him off, and go upstairs to my room, and I start recording.

"What`s up, Homies. This is SlyFoxHound and today I`m here with ImmortalHD, and were gonna play some MINECRAFT!"

_**Oliver`s POV**_

I hear a loud knock on the door.

Curious as to who it is, I call to Becky that I`ll get it.

I open the door, and my eyes widen.

"Seamus?"


	10. Chapter 10

Seamus is panting, but he`s smiling.

"Oliver." He whispers.

I open my mouth to speak, but he steps forward quickly, smashing his lips to mine, grabbing my hips and pulling our waists together.

I break away from him for a second, and look at him, bewildered. "What are you doing?"

He presses his forehead to mine, and closes the door with his foot. "I miss you."

I put my hands on his chest as if to push him away. "I... I can`t, Seamus. We`re not-" I start.

He kisses me gently, stopping me. "I don`t care what anyone thinks, Oliver. Or if we have Jordan`s approval. I just... I need you."

I`m so conflicted. "But... we`ve only known each other for, like, two weeks."

He smiles. "That`s how long it took."

I`m confused now. "How long what took?"

His smile disappears, replaced by some emotion that I can`t place. "That`s as long as it took for me to fall in love with you."

I finally smile back at him, and I realize something.

I love him too.

"I love you, too, Sea-Moose." I murmur.

He grins broadly, and presses our lips together again.

I kiss him back, and soon I`m pressed against the door, my fingers tangled in his hair, my legs wrapped around his waist.

But I stop. "Wait, wait, wait."

Seamus pauses, looking up at me, confused.

"Becky`s home." I whisper.

He smirks, lifting me up and carrying me to my bedroom.

He kicks his shoes off, and pushes me gently onto the bed.

I`m suddenly nervous, and stop him before it can go any farther. "Look, Seamus. I don`t think that right now is the best time for this."

His brow furrows. "Why not?"

I sigh. "Because one, Becky is here, and two, we just got back 'together.' Isn`t a bit rushed?"

He scowls, but nods. "I suppose." He sits next to me on the bed. "Can... can we keep kissing, though?" He raises an eyebrow.

I chuckle. "Sure."

He grins again, and lays next to me, almost on top of me, locking our lips together again.

_**LINEBREAK**_

Everything gets better after that.

Kootra begrudgingly accepts that we`re together, officially now, and although he still doesn`t like it, for whatever reason, he starts to act more friendly towards me.

It`s been around a week since Seamus and I got back together, and I`ve realized that I`ve been in Colorado for much longer than I meant to.

I was supposed to be home about a week or two ago.

I tell Seamus this, and he smiles.

"Let`s go on a road trip!" He says.

After a while of deliberation, I decide it`d probably be okay for him to come home with me.

It`s not like there`s anyone there to get onto me for it.

This thought saddens me, but Seamus is there to comfort me, wrapping his arm around my waist and planting a kiss on my cheek.

Then Nova and Sly poke their heads in the door.

"Did someone say, _road trip!?" _Sly has a huge grin on his face.

Seamus starts to protest, saying that they can`t come, but I nudge him with my elbow.

I smile at the two. "The more the merrier. As long as it`s only two more so we can all fit in the car."

The guys high-five. "Fuck yeah! Road trip!"

_**ANOTHER LINEBREAK**_

I climb into the car, giddy at the prospect of seeing Tyler, and going home.

But we have a long drive ahead of us.

We stop several times, but we don`t just take a break and stop driving.

We just switch drivers every so often, and whoever end up in the back seat somehow always wind up cuddling with each other as they rest.

It`s a weird system, but it works for us, and we play a lot of music on the radio, and some of it is totally stupid, but some of it is pretty cool.

I choose a random station, and it just so happens to be playing 'You Are So Beautiful.'

Nova and Sly, who are in the back seat, immediately grab each other and start rolling around, fake-sobbing as they proclaim their undying love for each other.

"Sly, I love you so much. I want to have your babies and make love to you all night long." Nova wails, wrapping himself around his bro.

Sly holds Nova, and starts whining, "Oh my god James that was so beautiful. I feel the same exact way. Wanna do it?"

Nova nods, and they look at each other for a few moments, before bursting into loud laughter.

I shake my head, chuckling, but I keep my eyes firmly locked on the road, paranoid about taking my eyes off of it for even a second.

A few minutes later and we`re almost to my hometown.

We`re just crossing the river, and I feel a surge of excitement.

"We`re almost there!" I exclaim, and then pull onto the familiar streets of my town.

I drive the painfully familiar roads to my house, and pull up in front of it.

"Here we are." I say, jumping out of the car and running inside.

As soon as I open the door, my cat Kibbles is meowing at me.

I know she`s fed, thank God. I had Tyler watching over the house for me, so he`s probably here now.

"Tyler?" I call.

I hear thudding footsteps on the stairs, and then the excited face of my best friend.

"Oliver!" He yells, running towards me and engulfing me in a hug.

He easily picks me up, and squeezes me tightly.

Then Seamus, Sly, and Nova walk in, and when they see us, they give us curious looks.

Tyler sets me down, grinning down at me like the big goof he is.

It`s good to see that`s he`s gotten over that stupid kiss.

"Ah, man. It`s so freaking good to see you! You were gone for such a long time, and I wasn`t sure if you were coming back, and the whole thing with your family, and- ah shit, I`m so sorry about that, Oliver. That must freaking _suck." _He speaks quickly, smiling one second and then frowning deeply the next.

He puts his hands on his hips and releases a breath. "So you gonna introduce me to your friends?"

I blink at him, then nod, a smile appearing.

"Well," I turn to the guys. "This is my buddy Sly, that`s my bro Nova, and this," I smile at Seamus, and reach towards him. "Is my boyfriend, Seamus."

I look at Tyler, a smile still on my face, and find that he`s also grinning. "I`m glad to see you`re happy, Oliver! You really deserve to be happy."

I let go of Seamus, and wrap my arms around Tyler`s torso, since that`s the only thing I can reach.

Yeah, I might not have mentioned this, but Tyler is pretty tall.

I step back and sigh.

"So what do you guys want to do?" I ask.

Nova makes a face. "Anywhere at eat around here?"

Tyler`s face lights up. "I can make shit for you guys."

I grin. "Fuck yeah. Make us something. Now."

Tyler nods, and runs to my fridge, digging through it and throwing stuff onto the counter.

"The boy`s a fucking _natural cook. _Everything he cooks is fucking delicious." I tell them.

They nod, and the Nova decides he wants to help.

I look at Seamus and Sly. "Anything you guys want to do?"

They look at each other, and then Sly shrugs. "You got any video games?"


	11. Chapter 11

After directing them to my room, I leave Sly and Seamus up there, and go to find my cat.

"Kibbles!" I call.

The pudgy grey cat comes scampering around the corner, looking up at me curiously.

I smile down at her and pick her up, chuckling at the squeaking noise she makes.

"Hey, kitty." I greet, scratching behind her ear.

She growls at me, but rubs against my hand, and kneads my chest lightly.

"Aw, Kibby, don`t be a growly girl. I didn`t do anything wrong." I say with a smile.

She growls softly again, looking up at me with her green and yellow eyes. She meows, and reaches a paw up towards me.

I lean in and kiss her on the head, before gently setting her down.

Kibbles rubs against my leg, before trotting off to do whatever it is she does.

I decide to go see how Nova and Tyler are getting along.

They`re laughing, and I smile at the sight.

"How you guys doing?" I ask.

Nova looks up at me. "We`re doing great, buddy! Gonna be done with the food pretty soon."

I nod, and then head back upstairs. "I`ll tell these dorks."

I enter my room, and grin as Seamus wins at something. I don`t really care about it enough to find out what, though.

I just care about the wide smile on Seamus` face, as Sly makes a face, and declares him a cheater.

I smile, too, and then Seamus notices me.

His smile seems to widen a bit. "Hey, Oliver." He greets.

I step into my room, and sit next to him.

A few minutes later, Nova calls that our food is ready.

I head downstairs, Seamus and Sly in tow, and we feast on chicken noodle soup and fish sticks, drinking from our glasses of orange juice happily, and making each other laugh so hard that we end up choking.

And finally, we`re done eating, and it`s around nine o'clock.

Sly, Nova, and Tyler all look ready to pass out, so I tell Tyler to go sleep wherever he`s been sleeping, and lead Nova and Sly to our guest bedroom.

I look at the large bed.

"Well... it may not be ideal... but I guess you`ll have to sleep here. Together." I cough awkwardly.

The guys look at each other, and then shrug.

"That`s fine with me. Maybe we can cuddle, eh, Sly?" Nova asks, raising an eyebrow, and elbowing his bro gently.

Sly steps close to Nova. "Maybe, honey."

Nova gives his friend sloppy kiss on the cheek, and they dissolve into feverish laughter.

I sigh. "You two are so fucking gay."

Nova grins at me. "This coming from the queen himself!"

That sends them both into another giggling fit, during which I leave with another sigh.

I grab Seamus, and check my bedroom.

Sure enough, Tyler`s in there, already asleep, so I pull Seamus to my parent`s bedroom, sucking in a painful breath as we cross the threshold.

Seamus practically carries me to the bed, and lays me down, before flopping beside me and pulling me close to him.

I breathe in the stale, yet familiar scents, and soon I`m asleep, my insomnia thankfully deciding not to act up right now.

_**LINEBREAK**_

I wake up alone.

I look sleepily around for Seamus, but don`t find him.

I`m confused, and pull myself from bed and trudge downstairs.

Everyone, including Seamus, is sitting at the table, chowing down on pancakes.

I smile tiredly at them, and Tyler grins back. "Your pancakes are on the counter." He tells me, and goes back to eating.

I nod, even though he isn`t paying attention to me anymore, and retrieve my pancakes, almost immediately digging hungrily into their fluffy-golden-brown deliciousness.

I pause just long enough to smother the already-drenched pancakes, and continue eating them with great gusto.

I hear everyone laughing, but I can`t be bothered to look up.

I fucking love pancakes. You have no idea.

When my pancakes are gone, and I`ve frowned disappointedly at the empty plate, I turn my attention to the guys.

Seamus is grinning at me, and when I shoot him a questioning look, he explains. "That was fucking hilarious. You eat like a goddamned pig, Oliver."

I shrug. "I swear, the way to my heart is through my stomach... but only if it`s loaded up with pancakes. So I suppose the way to my heart is through pancakes."

He smiles, and kisses me softly, and I can taste the syrup on his lips.

I bump my forehead into his gently, and entwine our fingers.

Nova mock-gags. "Get a fuckin' room, would ya?"

Seamus raises an eyebrow suggestively. "Maybe we will, James." He disentangles our fingers and his hand slowly trails up my leg, eliciting a gasp from me. "Maybe we will."

I feel myself blushing, and I push his hand away, looking away from him.

Everyone at the table starts laughing, and I twiddle my thumbs for a few moments, before excusing myself by mumbling something about putting my plate up.

As I place my plate in the sink, quickly running water over it, Kibbles rubs against my leg, as if she`s trying to quell my embarrassment.

I smile, and scratch her behind the ears, and she growls quietly, before waddle-running away quickly.

"Fucking bipolar cat." I say with another amused smile.

I return to the guys, and stretch, sighing as my back pops.

"We should do something today. Something other than sit on our asses all day." Seamus says.

I look at Tyler. "What is there to do around here?"

He thinks for a moment. "A few things."

I raise my eyebrows. "Like what?"

He sighs. "Well... we could go to the movies, we could go out to eat, we could... I don`t know."

I think for a moment, before looking at the guys. "Whatever you want to do, I`m game."

Seamus smirks at me, and I feel his hand on my thigh.

I glare at him. "No. Not that. We can`t do that as a group, and even if we could it`d be weird."

Seamus pouts, then begrudgingly takes my hand instead. "Fine. But it sure would be interesting if we did it as a group."

I shake my head. "No. That would be so fucking weird."

Seamus grins, and so does everyone else.

Except for Tyler, who looks like the awkward-around-gay-people guy he is.

So he coughs uncomfortably, and says, clapping his hands, "Well! Movies is it, then!"


	12. Chapter 12

We`ve been in Arkansas for a few days, but I can tell that they need to get back home.

And I don`t know what I`m going to do.

I have no way to pay the bills on this house, and this place brings back too many memories anyways.

Tyler`s offered to let me stay with him, but I don`t want to leave Seamus.

Seamus doesn`t know what to do either, and Sly and Nova just really want to get back to Colorado.

So I`m forced to make an executive decision.

I put the house up on the market.

I clean it up, get rid of more... personal items, and then get right down to business.

I just want this house gone.

_**LINEBREAK**_

It`s been a month since I left Arkansas.

I moved in with Becky, got a part-time job at the cafe down the road, and started going to college again.

The house sold pretty quickly, and I was both sad and happy to see it go.

Seamus and I haven`t been seeing each other as much as we used to, what with my new job and college, and his uploading schedule.

When we do get to see each other, though, it`s like all of my hard work pays off.

Just to see him smiling at me is enough to make me forget about work and school.

It`s nice.

Kootra is much more accepting of us now, and he doesn`t give us glares or weird looks anymore.

Sly and Nova are... Sly and Nova. They haven`t changed much, except that we`ve become closer, too.

Becky seems to be healing, as do the kids, who were slightly traumatized when they found out.

I feel that I`m healing too.

It still hurts, and seems painfully surreal, but I don`t lose sleep over it anymore, and I`m not depressed or anything.

Tyler tells me that he`ll come visit me whenever he gets the chance, but I`m fine if he doesn`t.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or so I`ve heard.

And that`s about all that`s been happening.

Right now I`m just chilling out with the guys, we`re having a great time, I`m watching them play some game, and we`re all laughing our asses off.

I down some of my Mountain Dew, and almost choke on it when Nova does something ridiculously stupid.

It`s hilarious nonetheless, and after swallowing I burst out laughing.

"You fucking idiot!" Seamus yells with a sigh, and shakes his head angrily.

I smile at his reaction, and he shoots me a glare.

"What are you laughing at? You`re terrible at video games, too!" He growls.

I frown at him, and sniffle. "You hurt me, Sea-Moose. You really do. I`m probably going to cry myself to sleep tonight because of that."

Seamus smirks, and says, "Don`t worry, _darling, _I`ll be there to make you feel better."

I laugh, and then go back to watching them play.

An hours later, they claim that they are done, and so I get ready to go home.

Seamus gently grabs my arm. "I meant what I said earlier." He murmurs.

I look at him, confused, before remembering. I raise my eyebrows.

He smiles at me. "Want to help me upload?"

I smile back, and nod.

He takes my hand, and leads me up to his room, and the door clicks closed behind us.

_**So that was Helping Hands.**_

_**Yes this last chapter was short, but it`s meant to be an Epilogue of sorts.**_

_**I hope you enjoyed reading this!**_


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